C'est moi! (slight return)
Have you missed your little phone monkey? I'm back on track(ish). Family member is fixed, my little scare over being 'outed' is over and done with, and the days are brighter. What's not to be happy about?
Dental access worsens
New dental contracts f***ing useless
I must be psychic, because before I was a twinkling in Blogger's eye I predicted this. The knock-on effect is that people see the news and (for unknown reasons) phone me and a) decide they need a dentist now, and b) berate me for the lack of access.
I need a break from this. Maybe in a secure psychiatric hospital or a pen full of wild, shrieking hyenas. Speaking of which, I received this 'delightful' comment on my "NHSD almost killed my baby!" post. If anyone could translate I'd be delighted! Read on gentle citizen, and marvel at the consequences of 'Care in the community'
"Hi. Today i called nhsd and when called back i was told that my son should be seen by a doctor as he has a very bad case of chicken pox which has spread to the inner eyelids which can be harmful to the cornea. She said that she would send the details straight through to my GP surgery that if i wasn't called by the doctor within the next hour to ring my surgery myself,she was very nice and i was happy with the service until 2 minutes after the phone went again and the woman said that she also was a nurse with nhsd so i said that someone had just called and she practically made out that i was lying as i was still on her screen so couyldn't have been called back! So i told her what had been said in the last phone call and she actually asked me if "I WAS SURE I HAD TALKED TO SOMEONE?" To which my reply was "Yes i am sure,I am not thick!" Eventually she believed me after i asked her also who the hell was it who could have called thenas i hadn't rang or asked for anyone elses advice besides nhsd!She then said that the advice was wrong that the details wouldn't have been sent to my gp as they are shut,that i couldn't get a home visit as there wasn't anyone to do home visits! To go to casualty but as i seemed like a mother who doesn't oer react that i could wait until the morning to see the gp,which i don't really want to do as he is still contagious and he is covered from head to foot. Anyway i rang the gp helpline myself,rang the number from the answer service...NOT nhsd and a DOCTOR rang me back within 5 minutes and said to call my surgery first thing to be seen and that he would send a message thrugh to them to say he had talked to me and had advised me to call them first about my son being seen.It was good advice and fast i don't see nhsd advertising that they charge ONE POUND PER MINUTE for your call! Also Read this...Government watchdog ICSTIS last night indefinitely suspended the licence of health helpline NHS Direct following the reporting of more than 3 million complaints in the last 2 years. The Premium Rate service offers callers the chance to speak to NHS staff about any concerns they have regarding their health at only £1 per minute* leading to an overall 0.002% reduction in visits to GP surgeries over the past 4 years, while also being linked to a 600% rise in hypochondria."We've suspected for a long time that NHS Direct uses this phone system to exploit the insecurities of the weak and line its own pockets," stated ICSTIS's Gregory T Mullet. "But now we have collected a dossier of evidence that suggests their only function is to make as much money as possible by keeping you on the phone for as long as possible."The dossier includes a list of tactics for prolonging people's phone calls (without necessarily prolonging their lives), which include:Using an automated touch-tone 'screening process' consisting of upwards of 100 questions ranging from "do you feel nauseous" to "have you, or a member of your family, or anyone within a 100km radius of you, recently travelled by boat from the Niger delta to Bamako in Mali and so been exposed to tsetse fly or their larvae, subsequently developing symptoms of African trypanosomiasis?"Asking deliberately confusing and technical questions such as "has your left fronto-pyramidal cortex experienced an increase in its QT interval leading to electrostasis beyond 1.112 millimoles per microgram?"Requesting that callers hold whilst they go off to perform "some tricky emergency surgery or something".ICSTIS claims that some questions asked in the diagnostic phone interviews have answers that are so obscure that they are nearly impossible for the callers to get right. "One caller was asked whether there was anything unusual in his stool samples. He had no idea that the correct answer was a beige 1.4 litre 1975 Austin Allegro and spent 5 hours attempting to guess an answer they would accept," said Mr Mullet.He also alleged that the public were still being encouraged to call NHS Direct by being given the impression they would be able to speak to a doctor or nurse, when in fact all performance targets had been met months before and everyone was on holiday. "In my opinion people who suspect they may be ill should go to their GPs or local A&E departments. That's all that NHS Direct will tell you to do anyway, after fleecing you for an hour or two."When asked to respond to these allegations, Dr Douglas Ramsbotham of NHS Direct said, "We are well versed in dealing with complaints and will give you a full diagnosis of the problem after we've asked you a few questions to clarify your enquiry. If I could just pop you on hold for a moment I'll be right back..."---------SAYS IT All REALLY and yes i was asked the questions even though i have had 3 children with pox before and am pretty sure it wasn't anything else!
Posted by Barbakent to Tales from Tragedy Towers - Life at NHS Direct at 10:11 PM "
I promise that was the whole comment, verbatim.
The beginning? I have no idea about. Details are sent to GP OOH at evenings and weekends, there's always someone there. In fact the only time we send anything anywhere is out of hours, I mean, no point doing it if the doctor is sat in his office! The middle? I dunno, I guess 'Barbakent' stumbled across, what we on the interwebs call 'satire' and became confused. (the piece she quotd is actually very funny) The end? I'm sorry the kids are pox-ridden, but that's modern youth for you.
Oh and finally, little Voldemort? That was definitely his name. Not Waldemar or any other Germanic moniker. You see, we have to check spellings. It's not the oddest name I've encountered. Here are a few:
Ah. I love the Burberry Generation, don't you?
Dental access worsens
New dental contracts f***ing useless
I must be psychic, because before I was a twinkling in Blogger's eye I predicted this. The knock-on effect is that people see the news and (for unknown reasons) phone me and a) decide they need a dentist now, and b) berate me for the lack of access.
I need a break from this. Maybe in a secure psychiatric hospital or a pen full of wild, shrieking hyenas. Speaking of which, I received this 'delightful' comment on my "NHSD almost killed my baby!" post. If anyone could translate I'd be delighted! Read on gentle citizen, and marvel at the consequences of 'Care in the community'
"Hi. Today i called nhsd and when called back i was told that my son should be seen by a doctor as he has a very bad case of chicken pox which has spread to the inner eyelids which can be harmful to the cornea. She said that she would send the details straight through to my GP surgery that if i wasn't called by the doctor within the next hour to ring my surgery myself,she was very nice and i was happy with the service until 2 minutes after the phone went again and the woman said that she also was a nurse with nhsd so i said that someone had just called and she practically made out that i was lying as i was still on her screen so couyldn't have been called back! So i told her what had been said in the last phone call and she actually asked me if "I WAS SURE I HAD TALKED TO SOMEONE?" To which my reply was "Yes i am sure,I am not thick!" Eventually she believed me after i asked her also who the hell was it who could have called thenas i hadn't rang or asked for anyone elses advice besides nhsd!She then said that the advice was wrong that the details wouldn't have been sent to my gp as they are shut,that i couldn't get a home visit as there wasn't anyone to do home visits! To go to casualty but as i seemed like a mother who doesn't oer react that i could wait until the morning to see the gp,which i don't really want to do as he is still contagious and he is covered from head to foot. Anyway i rang the gp helpline myself,rang the number from the answer service...NOT nhsd and a DOCTOR rang me back within 5 minutes and said to call my surgery first thing to be seen and that he would send a message thrugh to them to say he had talked to me and had advised me to call them first about my son being seen.It was good advice and fast i don't see nhsd advertising that they charge ONE POUND PER MINUTE for your call! Also Read this...Government watchdog ICSTIS last night indefinitely suspended the licence of health helpline NHS Direct following the reporting of more than 3 million complaints in the last 2 years. The Premium Rate service offers callers the chance to speak to NHS staff about any concerns they have regarding their health at only £1 per minute* leading to an overall 0.002% reduction in visits to GP surgeries over the past 4 years, while also being linked to a 600% rise in hypochondria."We've suspected for a long time that NHS Direct uses this phone system to exploit the insecurities of the weak and line its own pockets," stated ICSTIS's Gregory T Mullet. "But now we have collected a dossier of evidence that suggests their only function is to make as much money as possible by keeping you on the phone for as long as possible."The dossier includes a list of tactics for prolonging people's phone calls (without necessarily prolonging their lives), which include:Using an automated touch-tone 'screening process' consisting of upwards of 100 questions ranging from "do you feel nauseous" to "have you, or a member of your family, or anyone within a 100km radius of you, recently travelled by boat from the Niger delta to Bamako in Mali and so been exposed to tsetse fly or their larvae, subsequently developing symptoms of African trypanosomiasis?"Asking deliberately confusing and technical questions such as "has your left fronto-pyramidal cortex experienced an increase in its QT interval leading to electrostasis beyond 1.112 millimoles per microgram?"Requesting that callers hold whilst they go off to perform "some tricky emergency surgery or something".ICSTIS claims that some questions asked in the diagnostic phone interviews have answers that are so obscure that they are nearly impossible for the callers to get right. "One caller was asked whether there was anything unusual in his stool samples. He had no idea that the correct answer was a beige 1.4 litre 1975 Austin Allegro and spent 5 hours attempting to guess an answer they would accept," said Mr Mullet.He also alleged that the public were still being encouraged to call NHS Direct by being given the impression they would be able to speak to a doctor or nurse, when in fact all performance targets had been met months before and everyone was on holiday. "In my opinion people who suspect they may be ill should go to their GPs or local A&E departments. That's all that NHS Direct will tell you to do anyway, after fleecing you for an hour or two."When asked to respond to these allegations, Dr Douglas Ramsbotham of NHS Direct said, "We are well versed in dealing with complaints and will give you a full diagnosis of the problem after we've asked you a few questions to clarify your enquiry. If I could just pop you on hold for a moment I'll be right back..."---------SAYS IT All REALLY and yes i was asked the questions even though i have had 3 children with pox before and am pretty sure it wasn't anything else!
Posted by Barbakent to Tales from Tragedy Towers - Life at NHS Direct at 10:11 PM "
I promise that was the whole comment, verbatim.
The beginning? I have no idea about. Details are sent to GP OOH at evenings and weekends, there's always someone there. In fact the only time we send anything anywhere is out of hours, I mean, no point doing it if the doctor is sat in his office! The middle? I dunno, I guess 'Barbakent' stumbled across, what we on the interwebs call 'satire' and became confused. (the piece she quotd is actually very funny) The end? I'm sorry the kids are pox-ridden, but that's modern youth for you.
Oh and finally, little Voldemort? That was definitely his name. Not Waldemar or any other Germanic moniker. You see, we have to check spellings. It's not the oddest name I've encountered. Here are a few:
- Indyanna
- Twins called Molly Holly and Polly Dolly
- Baby (he was 4 years old)
- ShonyLeigh (a boy)
- Derica (guess what her daddy was called?)
- Dyson
Ah. I love the Burberry Generation, don't you?
