FAO Tom Reynolds/Brian Kellett
I just read the second book. Can't remember you mentioning NHS Direct in the body of the book but *sigh*, in the glossary, the old 'NHS ReDirect' trope is trotted out. Get fucked eh? In the grand scheme of things you're not exactly a neurosurgeon. This is what pisses me off. This is what's trotted out by you green-suited stretcher carriers over and over again:
"Hurrrp durrrp durrrp NHS ReDirect tell you to call 999 if you have a cold/stubbed toe/hamster bite"
My turn to say something I've said over and over again:
NHS DIRECT NEVER EVER EVER TELL ANYONE TO CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE. IF SOMEONE IS HAVING LIFE THREATENING SYMPTOMS THEY ARE PUT STRAIGHT THROUGH TO AMBULANCE CONTROL.
You go through your entire fucking book, in fact both of them, saying that the public are liars, degenerates, time-wasting scumbags who piss you off, you want them dead, you want to punch them. Then, one of them mentions the words "NHS Direct" and suddenly these scumbags are paragons of virtue who would never lie. Why do they utter the magic phrase to you? Because YOU FALL FOR IT EVERY BASTARD TIME.
The people at NHSD have to deal with timewasters too. They have to deal with abuse, with being followed home from work, spat at outside the building, stalked in a dark car park, with people breaking into their building and hiding in the toilets. They don't have security cameras, or backup. Most of them are women, a lot of them are disabled.
They deal with the crackheads, the alcoholics, but unlike you if someone says "I have chest pain, I'm having a heart attack" THEY can't give them an ECG. They have to take their word for it. Then you turn round and call them incompetent because St Joe Public would never lie to get an ambulance, would he?
Most of the calls the service takes don't even involve symptomatic callers, did you know that? It's a HEALTH INFORMATION service. But the ones that do call them are old people, sick people, people who are too fucking scared to dial 999 when their arse falls out and they bleed all over the floor of their sheltered housing. They're new mums with blue babies who've been called 'neurotic' by Ambos and GPs, parents who live on rough housing estates who call asking for home care for Billy's injured leg because if they call for an ambulance Billy will be whisked away while Social Services grill his mother.
Take the service away tomorrow and you lot will be fucked. You think you don't have enough ambulances now? Just wait till EVERYONE with toothache, EVERYONE with cold, EVERYONE who has a query about chickenpox is calling you. Just fucking wait.
And if you really want someone to blame? Try lazy bastard GPs who get £100k a year for 9-5, and keep 'forgetting' to turn on their surgery answering service after hours. But then they're not an easy target are they. And that's the kind you like.
You can't make your own candle burn brighter by pissing over someone elses. Grow up.
To everyone else - I moved on. Thank God. I loved working for the service but between the public, the management and cocks like this it wasn't worth the high blood pressure.